Which is most challenging: managing conflict or agreement?

Managing agreement is simple - right?

How much mental energy do you use to find ways to resolve conflict? Quite a lot? Or maybe your life is so much simpler and everyone always agrees with everyone and everything (perhaps that would that be a tad tedious)?

I accept leading through conflict can be challenging, perhaps at times, exhausting. What about managing agreement though? Can that be more dangerous? When everyone says that they agree, or they say nothing at all.

I recently came across ‘The Abilene Paradox’ (thanks to Keith Nelson, at University of Cambridge) which speaks of the issue of managing agreement. In short, a family all go on a journey to please one another. The trip is no fun at all and all would have been happier to stay at home. The insitgator thought it would delight everyone else even though he would have preferred to stay home too. The others felt they should all go to please one another.

How often does a similar journey happen in your organisation? How much do you ask colleagues what they really think? How receptive would they expect you to be to their honest reply? Or, beyond Abilene, how often do people agree because of WHO suggests something? Or when so much time, energy, budget and credibility have been invested in a failing project, who is prepared to share an honest view on whether to continue, change or pause?

Maybe leading through conflict is easier than managing agreement after all.

We’d love to support you to achieve your strategic objectives, whether that is by providing Executive Coaching, Consultancy, Training, Project Management or Interim leadership. Do get in touch: michelle.hurst@bellanero.co.uk It’s good to talk